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I’ve been volunteering for SMART reading for a few months now. Every week, I flail around at the office, trying to get out the door on time, telling myself that volunteering in the middle of a work day is ridiculous and stupid to even try.

And then, every week… I love that I’ve done it. I like it so much that I feel guilty, like I’m getting away with something. I mean, I get the fun of it AND I get to skip an hour of work AND I get to blog about it in a self-satisfied manner. And, when I insist it’s selfish, I get the always awesome, “But it really is so wonderful and giving! You’re too kind and being so humble.” So I come out ahead every which way!

Ha-ha, universe. I win.

Plus, each day, I learn something new from the kids,  like:

1. Some snakes can fly.
2. In a school, gold stars, bowls of candy, free fruit, and small paper cups of cocoa are for the kids. Not you.
3. When sounding out words, it’s officially obvious:  ”Michael” should actually be pronounced “Mitchell.”
4. This photo (taken in my yard), is not of a spider at all. It is, however, somehow both the cousin of both a spider and a tarantula:
   
   Very comforting.
5. Diary of a Wimpy Kid is sickly popular and hard to read out loud.
6. Don’t acknowledge it when a third-grader farts. It’s better that they blindly believe they got away with it–and there’s no other acceptable reaction. (Also note that a kind-hearted giggle will NOT be well-received.)
7. The story of the Titanic sinking is really awkward when read to you by a child. Like when they explain how the rich were able to get into lifeboats and the poor couldn’t. Or when they turn to the page in the picture book that looks exactly like this movie scene:
   
   
8. Don’t suggest to a 7-year-old that they go see Titanic.
9. Don’t try to read Stinky Cheese Man to a too cool, sullen kid in a flat-billed skater cap. They’re obviously not ready for irony yet.
10. While irony is out, ninjas are as cool as ever. As are hamsters.